Monday, February 27, 2012

Age Free.......

I want to be free,
Free of hate, free of rage,
Free of all the responsibilities that come with age,
I want to be young once more,
Sleep in my cradle once more,
I wish never to age,
Never have emotions such as rage,
I want to love everyone around me,
I want to be free of all the envy,
I want none to suffer because of me,                                        
I want to just be free free free.


Friday, October 31, 2008

When I Was...


It is always said one never realizes what one has till one doesn’t have it no more. We never realize the value of a person till the person is no more. We human beings are strange. We know all of this and yet we never seem to learn or implement any of this. We yet take things for granted, we yet take people for granted and we yet take every relationship for granted.

My grandfather expired 2 days ago. I will never forget those last few moments that I had with him. It was a peaceful death to an eventful life. A life that lasted for 101 years. It is said that when a soul leaves the body it is yet in the environment for 12 days before it takes birth as a new being. The whole family was there when he was ill.

I was thinking to myself and was trying to imagine what my grandfather would have said had he seen everyone after he expired and what would he be telling himself.

“When I was alive I was in my room by myself all day. When I was alive hardly anyone came to see me and talk to me and help me pass time. When I was alive nobody told me they loved me or even expressed themselves to let me know what I meant to them. When I was alive all my complaints seemed like a person tired of life cribbing all the time. When I was alive everyone was busy and had their own lives to lead and never had time to spend with me. When I called on the telephone my loved ones made excuses and used to not talk for long or not even answer for that matter. When I was alive all these things would have meant the world to me at least in the last few years of my wonderful life.

Now I am no more and everyone comes home and spends time in the very room where I felt lonely. My loved ones come now and talk about me when I am no more to listen to them and smile. Everyone seems to have found time from somewhere when they had none when I was alive. Suddenly everyone started to miss me and love me but I aint there to hear or feel that emotion no more. Now that I am no more everyone suddenly understand my value but I aint there to feel good about that fact.

What’s the use of all of this now that I am no more? Why would people not understand how important it is to let one know how much they mean to them? When we are alive and here people take it for granted that we always going to be here and we know how much we are wanted.

I have a question do we really know how much we are wanted? Do we really understand our value without someone telling us so? Don't you ever want to know how much we are loved? Don’t you ever want to hear those words from your loved ones? I wish nothing like this happens to any of us where we also tell ourselves when I was alive.....Lets make sure our loved ones know what they mean to us and how much we love them.

Monday, June 30, 2008

The Child Of God


“Mom I don’t want to go to school”
"Why?" "My tummy is paining". "Don’t give excuses. Get up and go for a shower u are not bunking school". "Mom!!! "Nothing doing".
Remember the excuses we used to make to get out of school and always doing mischief. It’s been so long since we did all of this. Childhood is so incomplete without the mischief and all the silly things to do to get out of chores. Remember when we were children how we used to indulge in role-playing and pretend to be a doctor or an engineer or some fantasy super hero. All those dreams and fantasies that we used to live in. it was the best period in our life when we were whatever we wanted to be and did not let anything discourage us from being in our own imaginary world. Can u imagine a life without a childhood? Can u imagine what would we be like if we never had those moments? Can u imagine having a child and losing him before he even begun understanding what life is? Can u imagine being a parent with the knowledge that their child is going to die and wont be with them for long? Can u for a minute put yourself in that hapless situation where u cant do anything about the inevitable? Do u feel the pain? Do u feel the hurt? We al have our set of dreams for our children and for ourselves. Though at times the dreams end in an abrupt manner. A manner that they would have never even thought of. This is a true story. It is about a boy who expired today. And he was just 7 years old. Yes 7 years old. Can u imagine the agony a parent goes through when they have to hold their own baby in their hands and see them go away and not being able to do anything to reverse the process. The very hands that had once held them and they smiled at them and said their first words today lies in their arms silent forever. Before they were complaining of their kids shouting too much and making too much noise are now dying to hear their kid say something, anything. Dreams can turn into nightmares so quickly it’s unimaginable. U know this boy was suffering from blood cancer and his parents were helpless. It’s a hapless situation to be in when u see your very own baby dying and u can’t do anything about it. What a life to take. Sometimes it makes u believe that god doesn’t really exist. And if he does he is being very cruel. You know we say about how we pay for our sins in this very life; sometimes I wonder what gruesome sins would a 7-year-old boy commit to deserve death. Life had just begun for him. He barely saw life and it was taken away from him. But I must add one thing this boy is lucky to have the parents he did. They are brave and they did everything in their power to make his 7 years the happiest years they could be. They had the courage to sleep every night in the fear of not seeing him awake the next morning. It takes a lot of heart to let someone go and even more heart to know someone is going to go soon and yet keep a smiling face to make him happy. Its commendable and this is the kind of strength a human being is gifted with and yet we don’t really use it. Life isn’t all jolly but what this incident has taught me is that no matter how difficult life gets for u, u have to smile and make everyday count and be the happiest u can be. Life is taken for granted by one and all hopefully this shall change your perception to life the way it has done for me. One life one heart give it all you got.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Parents or God


Do u remember the first steps u took? Do u remember the first time u said something? Do u remember the first time u laughed? Do u remember the beginning of everything? I guess not. But your parents do. They remember everything. They remember all the details.
Parents are like your photo album. They have every moment captured and pictured in their head and heart. U may have forgotten most of the things but they remember everything. It’s strange in a way that we seem to forget the very people who can never forget us.
Our parents must have stayed up nights when we are not feeling well. Even in the smallest of headaches they have been there and taken care of us. Without them we are nothing. They have nurtured us taken care of us and given us everything they could. They have even stayed hungry to make sure that we get enough to eat. We often discount a lot of things and seem to just forget their contribution to our life. When we are infants we want our parents to understand us when we cant speak, we want them to carry us when we cant walk, we want them to feed us when we cant eat by ourselves, we want them to put us to bed when we are scared and so on. When we become teenagers we want them to understand us and move into the modern times with us and be cool and what not. When we join the business we want them to start accepting our methods of working and all. Start making food the way we want it with our likings n all. When we have kids we want them never to scold them and tell them we want to give our kids everything and not struggle the way we have done so. We must have never struggled cause of our very own parents but we yet say that to our very own children. But the time we get old our parents are in heaven or in a very weak state and even at that time you want them to understand you and not give u a tough time and ask you too many questions n all.
I have a question for all of you…. when do we understand our parents? When do we do things for them? When do we do everything they want rather than what we want? When do we understand their viewpoints?
Ask yourself these questions…when we were young they did everything in their power to make us happy and comfortable. How many of us have tried to do that for our parents when they are old? When would u sacrifice something for your parents the way they had done so when u were young?
We worship idols and go to temples and all. But don’t u think god is here in the form of our parents. When do u worship them???????? Don’t look searching for god for he is right here with us in form of our very own parents.

The Beginning......


The beginning of life is a miracle. A tree grows tall and strong from a tiny seed. A bird hatches and flies to freedom from an egg that is kept warm for many months. We humans are born from our mother's womb after nine months of extra care. Life is a gift. It's a gift by a woman who has taken care of us before we were born. It took nine months out of her life. Out of her daily routine. Nine months of extra care, extra nurture and to eat so much more to feed two human beings at once. The woman is the strongest emotional support a child can ever have. That woman is fondly called "MOTHER".
Birth is the very opposite of death. Its uncomplicated, straight forward and everyone is very well versed at it. Birth is the beginning of a life. A life, a journey, and a learning course to become the best we can become.
Our life begins here. We are born with our fists tightly clasped as to saying I want to hold on to life…hold on to our natural selves and remain pure. When we are born everyone around us is smiling with joy welcoming us into this world. Whereas we are crying. I think we cry cause we are out of the protective womb and out in the world scared of the uncertainties in life.
Our life is so simple for the first few years. All we do is eat, sleep and sleep again. What a life. We have no worries, no hassles and absolutely no responsibility whatsoever. Our development begins at birth. Our upbringing starts from there itself. We become what we see and feel. The environment around us moulds us into the human beings we are to become on growing old. At birth little do we know what is in store for us in this world.
When we are small we are the purest ever nothing is corrupt or manipulative. Its just the purest of thoughts with purest of intentions. It's the best phase of our lives. We live in our own world made of fantasies and imagination. It's free of all the vices that we might encounter in the future. It would be a miracle were we to hold on to these qualities throughout our lives. But it's not impossible.
The first smile, the first steps of a baby, the first words out of his mouth and that look of awe on his face when he sees something amazing. That innocence that excitement and that truth on a baby's face is something that is remarkable. When we are baby's we can make as many errors as we want without facing the music literally. It's like our first time for everything so we are always forgiven with kind words. We are always picked up every time we fall and when we are hurt we always find solace in our mothers arms with our mother scolding the object that injured us in the first place. How we are understood without saying a word and how people read or try to read our facial expressions and hand signals.
How we all change once we start growing up and understanding life. How we get influenced by people and things around us. How we lose most of our qualities to the outside world.
The strange thing about growing up is that we never realize what we are losing till we don't eventually lose it. We are supposedly the smartest of all living creatures and on top of the food chain but when it comes to this I think we are nowhere near smart.
We often hear everyone telling us don't do this don't do that and so on. I think sometimes we seem to love doing the very opposite as an action to show revolt and to show that we are in control of the situation. We don't like to be told what to do. Its human tendency. Little do we realize that experience is vital and we should take cue from people around us but we tend to love doing things our way and facing the consequences for our actions. In our teenage years we seem to always revolt and rebel and try to stamp our authority without realizing how much it were to harm us in the bargain. We may not be wrong all the time but most of the times the experience of an older man belittles our views and beliefs and comes on top.
Some of us live by the rule I want to learn from my own mistakes rather than being smart enough to learn from others mistakes as well. This is where our most exciting phase starts our teenage years. This is the phase of our life where we know what we are doing, we know the consequences and I guess we always think we are ready to face them.
It's the beginning of a conscious world for us…….